Many years ago I met a inspirational Young Lady on the Message Forum PKUboard.info , Her Name was Breanna Hardy. We kept in touch over the years and have become online friends. When I joined Facebook in 2005 I was able to add all my friends from pkuboard and my network and my friends grew from there. Since meeting Breanna I have had the pleasure of following her family and eventually meeting her mom Michelle. I feel like over the years I have really gotten to know the Hardy family and have been privileged to be apart of their online family. Michelle and her Husband Bradly are very active in the PKU community and have 9 children. 3 of their girls have PKU. Breanna, Erica and Genavieve. The Hardy family have some exciting news , once again, the hardy family are opening their hearts, and their home and they are in the process of adopting a international baby boy with PKU. Who they have named “Charlie”
The Hardy family had not expected to find a baby so soon with PKU. In fact the agency told them that it would be nearly impossible , and it could take years. The Hardy family had a financial plan in place to raise the money to adopt a pku child in the next year or so. However God works in mysterious ways, and their prayers have been answered. The agency has found them a child. 21 month old “Charlie” with PKU. So now the time frame has been drastically moved up and the family is stuggeling to raise the money to bring charlie home. They have started a fundraising page to raise the money to bring home Charlie. I was so touched by their story and wanted to do something to help bring attention to their story. . So I arranged an interview with Michelle in hopes by sharing their story we can generate some awareness and help make their dream of bringing charlie home a reality.
This is the interview with Michelle.
Amanda:
Good morning Michelle, Thank you for meeting with me. So I thought we would start with some back ground information. For instance, can you tell me about your husband and yourself , how you met? when you got married how long have you been married and some details about your family. Like did you always want a big family.
Michelle :
Brad and I met in the 7th grade. We were in the same homeroom and our lockers were close together. He was very quiet and very reserved, and other than being friends I couldn’t imagine him ever being my boyfriend. In the 9th grade he got up the courage to ask me to dance at a school dance and I will never forget how sweaty his neck was (it is funny now to think about what I remember). After that I thought he didn’t like me and life continued. In the 11th grade he finally started to walk me home and the rest is history. We were married nine months after we graduated from high school and have been married for 25 yrs. As far as family…..we always said we wanted lots of kids, but to us five was a lot. After we had Breanna I was so devastated by her diagnosis of PKU I couldn’t imagine EVER having another child. I cried for her entire first year of life, but then as with anything PKU became easier and easier and that all changed. After our fifth we just kept the possibility open to having more children join our family. After our 7th child, Faith I really never wanted to be pregnant again (pregnancies were not kind to me and were filled with being sick from morning until night from the beginning of the pregnancy until I gave birth). We changed our minds when Faith was 5 yrs old and then it took us 1 1/2 yrs to get pregnant with Genavieve and then Brennan was our bonus baby because I conceived him when Genavieve was 9 months old.
Amanda :
when did you first consider adoption and why?
Michelle:
We had always talked about adding to our family through adoption, but I didn’t want to pursue it while there was still a possibility of having biological children. I was terrified of coordinating travel, a new child and being so sick. So we always talked about it, but it was put on the back burner. Each time a child would come up on the PKU Listserve the conversation would come up, but we thought we were too old and couldn’t afford it.
Then a few weeks ago the conversation came up again and we seriously sat down and discussed it and decided this was the path we were meant to travel. As far as why I want to adopt….. first of all I love my children and I would have had more had my pregnancies weren’t so awful. Age also played a factor in my decision to not give birth anymore. While I know women who give birth much older than I am I just couldn’t do it anymore.
Amanda:
While you where talking about adoption did you think about if you wanted a boy or girl or did it not matter? did you think about race and culture? did you have a country in mind you wanted to aopt from? or did it matter where? also how did you decide on these answers?
Michelle:
We didn’t care where the child came from or what his/her race was. We originally talked about a girl because in our minds there would be more females out there to adopt, but after talking to the agency we realized that there are actually more boys waiting. So we thought we were going to have a girl and then when the agency contacted us and asked about a boy instead I knew it didn’t matter especially because I viewed this like I did my pregnancies….it really didn’t matter. One thing that ddid happen that I never expected was how my husband cried when I asked him if he wanted a boy instead. It was tears of happiness because as you know we have seven daughters and two sons. The only thing that really mattered to us was PKU. We knew we wanted a child with PKU.
The adoption agencies tried to match us with other disorders, but I knew that wasn’t right for us. We knew we wanted a child younger than your youngest. We were very open to whatever country and race. We wanted a child with PKU because we knew they would be harder to place and we have life experience with PKU. We know we can provide the care a child with PKU needs because we have done it before and are doing it.
Amanda :
when did you decide to involve your other children in your decision? what did you tell them?
Michelle:
They always new it was a possibility but when we seriously started talking about it we involved them immediately because this child will be their sibling. I was never good at holding off when I was pregnant either. They knew immediately after I told my husband. As far as what we told them they were there when we were discussing it so they heard their dad and I talking about it.
Amanda :
when did you first apply to adopt? what was the application process like? how did you research agencies and when you found one how did you decide it was the right one for you and your family? did you go through the ministry ? or government?
Michelle :
I actually started out looking online for agencies. It was all confusing and overwhelming. I started to call them and was highly disappointed because many told me they didn’t think they would ever find a child that met my requirements. On Thursday of last week I cried and cried (I was at my office) and before I left finally just told God that it was in his hands and if it was meant to be he had to make it happen. I went home, told my husband the disappointing news and cried some more. The next day I had to pick up some stuff and do some copying at my office. I took the kids with me and my husband went along too because he had some work to do there for me. It was while there that I got the call and the agent told me about this little boy, texted me a photo because I didn’t have a computer to look at his profile. I cried and ran to my husband with the photo and he said definitely yes. So the agency found us really.
Amanda :
what has the process for adoption been like? both legally and emotionally? how much does it cost? what do the fees provide? and what is the next steps in your process?
Michelle:
Emotionally I am a wreck because I am so nervous, but since it has only been since last Thursday very scary too. It is moving way faster than I thought. It will cost us between $30,000-40,000. This will provide us with everything we need to bring our child home including our travel to get him. Right now we are going over the contract and are drawing up a letter of intent and doing the paperwork process. We have to do a home study as well. There is a lot to do and right now it feels overwhelming. I just got a list of 7 things I need to do over the next few days.
Amanda :
Sounds very overwhelming and exciting! Thank you Michelle, My next group of questions are specific to Charlie.
Amanda :
what where your first thoughts when you saw charlie? and how did you decide on a name? was it already his name? I know you have your kids names following the alphabet? is that something you decided on or more just happened?
Michelle:
I immediately thought he looked a little bit like my youngest son Brennan and I cried. The name was something my husband decided on. He has a different name, but we can’t disclose that. I don’t want to do anything to chance the agency dropping us. Also Charles was next in alphabetical order. Yes we opted to do the names in alphabetical order. It didn’t start out that way but when we saw the pattern we continued it.
Amanda :
Just to expalin, Michelle’s Girls names range from the Olderst Girl with a an “A” name , and her youngest Girl is a “G” name. Michelle Currently has 2 boys, The Oldest boy is an “A” name and her youngest Son Is a “B” name, then there will be Charlie!
Amanda:
Charlie is an international adoption, Are you and your family planning on learning about his culture and bringing it into your family and every day life?
Michelle :
We are hoping to learn about his culture and incorporating it into his life, but I don’t know what that will look like right now. When we pick him up we will spend two weeks in the country.
Amanda :
Charlie also has PKU, Do you know if he has been treated since birth or , if he is a late diagnosis do you know if he suffers from any side effects?
Michelle :
He has been treated since 10 months, but I am not sure what the treatment consists of and how good it is because he only had one level taken and that was at ten months. I am sure there will be side effects.
Amanda:
You and your family are so brave! I really admire you for what you are doing. My next group of questions are more specific to Charlie and his PKU.
Amanda :
Have you talked to your PKU clinic staff about your pending adoption? have they been supportive? how long after charlie comes home will be be going to clinic and begin treatment?
Michelle:
No I haven’t talked with them, We plan on contacting them as we get closer and the plan is to make sure we have formula on hand for Charlie when we bring him home, will do his blood test when he gets home and hopefully will be seen in the clinic right after his return. My goal is to do the test, get the results and be seen in the clinic immediately.
Amanda :
What testing will charlie have to undergo to determine course of treatment and his tolerance? Will you be able to pick his formula or will the clinic? I assume since he is 1 he is eating some solid foods?
Michelle:
The clinic will have to determine the testing but I am guessing it won’t be any different than what the girls went through (finger sticks, estimating and changing the diet as needed). Since the girls are on Kuvan my husband and I will have to discuss this option for Charlie as well. As far as formula we have to see what he is on now and if it compares to anything we have here. We want to make the transition easy for him, so we will see what formula he ends up on. We will probably do like we did with the girls at that age … taste tests.
Amanda :
How does having 3 daughters with PKU prepare you for caring for Charlie? Do you know that as a little boy with PKU If Charlie will face different challenges then your girls?
Michelle:
I honestly don’t know if challenges will be different for him, but I believe living with PKU for 22 yrs gives us a lot of knowledge to work through whatever challenges come our way. To me this is no different than when I had our biological children…there are no guarantees in life and we figure it out as we go along with the knowledge that we have.
Amanda :
Great answer! How involved will your children be in charlies care and what can they do to best support him?
Michelle:
They will be as involved as they are right now with their other siblings based upon where they are at in their lives. He will be their sibling just like they all are to each other. With kids ranging in age from 25 yrs down to 3 yrs there is a huge difference in what they contribute.
Amanda:
Yes for sure! Do you plan on telling Charlie he is adopted? and when and how do you plan to do that?
Michelle:
He will definitely know he is adopted and something that will be incorporated from the start. Kids like to hear the story of how they came to be adopted or biological. His story will be his own and he will know it just like the others know their stories.
Amanda :
Aww, so true! what are your hopes and dreams for charlie are they the same or different for your hopes and dreams for all your children?
Michelle:
They are the same as all of my other kids. I hope and pray they grow up to be happy and productive individuals.
Amanda :
I can tell that you are a wonderful mother, and you have a wonderful family. Charlie is very lucky to have you. All of your children are lucky to have you and Bradly for parents!
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I am PKU Strong 
I would love more info on PKU adoption.
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