I was admitted to the hospital Wednesday night between 1030 and 11 pm due to horrific pain and pressure in my low back , tail bone, hips and down into my legs. With cramping and tightness at the bottom of my belly. The pain was truly terrible in my back and hips and I could not sit or move with out causing pain. One minute I am sitting on the couch at home the next i’m on all 4s in the bedroom against the bed crying and trouble breathing through the pain.

We called my midwife who told us to head up to the hospital so we bundled Madelyn up and went in . The pain came on very suddenly and intense in a matter of an hour. When we got their we did a non stress test but no contractions where registering when I was experiencing the cramping and pain. So that meant that it was not uterine contractions and it was not braxton hicks either. something else was going in. 

The top of my belly was soft but not the bottom. I was checked and tested for pre term labor but the test was going to take hours to come back so they admitted me and cole and madelyn went home. it was nearly 1130 pm when they left and way past madelyns bed time so she was getting pretty tired but she did so well. I was so proud of her. When we told her we had to go to the hospital she asked if baby was coming and we said we hope not yet. She rubbed my back and told me ” good job mama ” when we where at the hospital she carried a cup of water and ice chips and kept handing me ice chips melted in her little hands. Soon she started to ask to go home, and when she learnt i had to stay back she cried and that made me cry to. It was hard to say good bye to them. I hate being in the hospital even when the nurses are always great. 

My midwife had examined me and my cervix was closed still  so that was a good sign that baby would not be coming that night. The test for pre term labor came back around 1 am Thursday morning. It is a indicator if pre term labor up to 2 weeks and it was negative so   i was finally given morphine for pain. It did not go away completely but it dulled it enough it was like turning down the volume. By 3 am the pain was coming back. By 5 am i was shaking and puking and felt really weak and like i was going to black out. I am assuming from having morphine and gravol on an empty stomach. I had yet to get any sleep and was drifting in and out. So many sound and monitors and activity. 

At this point another mama was in labor and about to give birth she was a real screamer poor mama.

By 8 am i still hadn’t eaten as the hospital did not feel comfortable due to not understanding my PKU despite my understanding and my high phe tolerance so i had to wait for cole to bring me my food and formula. They did bring me a slice of toast and jam , some apple juice and 2 crackers. I didn’t feel much like eating any ways but the apple juice was a big help. 

We went to the hospital with totally nothing but phones purse and chargers. completely unprepared since im only 33 weeks. I dont have a hospital bag packed because im still hoping to stay home. However after this I think it will be a good idea to have one just in case.  I was not expecting to have to go in this early. Oddly enough I think i was admitted to the same room at about this pregnant with Madelyn when i had norwalk. I was in for 5 days that time. 

Cole and Madelyn finally got up to me around 1030 am . After I was able to eat i was examined again and the nurse discovered baby was head down and engaged , she had dropped right down into my pelvis so that explains the pressure . We are assuming all the pain was from her moving down and aggravating my injuries from the car accident. Thankfully no risk of pre term labor and free to go home and let baby keep baking. Its was a long few days and i had not slept in over 24 hours . I need to take it easier and rest and manage my stress. That pain was so terrible it really freaked me out to go through birth again! But we are all ok and happy to be home and have such a great team.  I ended up going to bed around 730 pm Thursday night and only woke up 2 times. Next thing I knew it was 630 am on Friday! I really needed that sleep. 

I have some nasty left over side effects from the morphine at the hospital so it was nice that my midwife came out to our house yesterday to check in. I  missed both my Chiropractic and my  massage appointments while I was in the hospital. Luckily i have them booked every week.

This week I have a teleconference scheduled with my PKU Clinic in Vancouver so i’m happy to not have to travel down this uncomfortable. This will be my third trimester check in and my last for this baby.

My latest phe level came back from July 1st was 1.87 and tyrosine was 53 so my tolerance was increased again to 1875 mg phe .

I have been enjoying brown sugar oatmeal for breakfast, dayia grilled cheese, tomato and avocado sandwiches for lunch and rice and veggies for dinner.  my ferrtin levels have come back super low again at only 10 so i’ve been adding some orange juice and liquid iron into my day but having trouble remembering to drink it cause i try to wait a few hours between formula. Ideally I should add it in around 3 pm between lunch and dinner so it does not interfere with my formula but i tend to forget.

We have made some real progress on the nursery this week. Cole moved his office downstairs and painted the nursery both coats of a lovely pastel pink. The trim is done now and he got new closet doors. I have washed all the blankets, hats, burp clothes, face bath clothes, socks, and bibs we have and put them away in the closet. I bought some newborn diapers, and diapering supplies. I dug out Madelyn back pack diaper bag and packed that. I found my baby wearing gear and carriers to so put those away in her closet. I still have to sterilize my breast pump since i bought it second hand. We ordered a dresser from amazon and it has not shipped yet so i have not been able to go through clothing or put any of them away. We are trying to put the crib together but we are missing a piece. We have the shelves to put up, a toy hammock to hang, picture to hang and the wall decals to add. Its coming together lovely though.  I still feel like there is so much to do its a bit overwhelming. I thought we had all this newborn clothing to but it turns out we dont. I dont have any baby towels either.  I cant wait for the nursery to be done so i can breathe better. I really need to take it easier, rest more and manage my stress.

I am feeling really big and really uncomfortable. Pretty much done with being pregnant but terrified of labor and birth and having a new born with a toddler but also anxious to be done to meet her , start our life and healing! Find our new normal and see what this next chapter in life has in store for us.

Here is what baby center.ca has to say about week 34 :

Your baby now weighs more than 4.7 pounds / 2.2 kilograms and is 18 inches / over 45 centimeters from top to toe. She’s filling out and getting rounder — she’ll need her fat layers later to regulate her body temperature.

If you don’t already talk to your baby, this is a good time to start — at 35 weeks her hearing’s fully developed. Don’t feel ridiculous if you’re already chatting in baby talk. Some evidence shows that newborns pay closer attention to high-pitched tones.

Thanks for reading. If you made it this far please leave a comment so I know . Its nice to interact with my readers and im always happen to answer any questions.

Dont forget to check back next week.

It’s been a difficult week.

To say I’ve been struggling a lot this week is an understatement . My blood pressure is so low and my heart rate keeps spiking. It makes me feel so sick and fuzzy. My head feels weird I have headaches . I feel dizzy. I feel nauseated. If I move to fast , get up or sit down , lie down or roll over I get dizzy and black spots and super nauseated. I’m so over this. It makes me feel sick all day and hard to breathe. I’ll be walking or doing something and all of a sudden I’ll feel sick and woozy and find it hard to catch my breath and I’ll look at my watch and my heart rate will be high. Just walking around Walmart on friday it was 135. My blood pressure at last check was 90/ 60. Yesterday it was jumping from my resting heart rate of 69-72 to 150! 

It is not a good feeling. It leaves me feeling weak and tired and I need to lay down and do some deep breathing to get it to come down.  It was hard to be motivated this week to get much done so I feel like I am scrambling now. 

Cole was sick for 5 days. and it rained a lot this week so that didn’t help with the motivation and fatigue.

On a good note, It was my birthday on Wednesday.  I even got to have Chinese food for my birthday so that was pretty special. I had bought myself a cupcake but cole forgot it in the truck and it melted.   Cole, Madelyn and I went to the mall on my birthday and he bought me a new phone, and we had some Davids ice tea, then I went for a massage and ran some errands. Came home for a quick lunch and to pick up the day care kids. They all got picked up early so we could go for dinner.  Cole was sick but we still managed to go. We went to Oriental Gardens down town and it had Chinese food, Japanese food and sushi! I had mushroom chow mein. That very well be a once in a life time opportunity for me to say I had Chinese food in a real Chinese food restaurant on my birthday! They even brought me out some pound cake with raspberry puree and ice cream. However since I already had chow mein I did not want to push my luck so we split it between the 3 of us.  After dinner we walked around down town and visited the library. We came home and picked up our dog and went for  family walk to the river. It was low key but very nice. 

My daycare is officially closed.  The last kids left Thursday at 430 pm . I’m now on leave till January.  It was bittersweet. I will miss our daycare family. We had a great crew. To say there was lots of tears and hugs is an understatement. 

This baby is really growing! She feels so much longer and heavier to me than i remember Madelyn ever being. I can feel her everywhere. She feels long cause I can feel her legs up near my chest but her head and shoulders low ! Her back sits around my belly button. I can feel her push against me and push her back into my belly . My whole belly will move and stick out to that side when she does that and I feel her hard little bum with my hand. She is moving a lot and we can watch her from the outside to. Sometimes its pretty uncomfortable.

she feels like shes taking up a lot of space in there and she certainly is using up all my protein way faster! She is making good use of all my extra protein. The ultrasound tech said she was already over 4 lbs and since babies grow half a pound a week in the last 8 weeks she very well may be 8 lbs or over. Madelyn was 6 so that is kinda terrifying since Im aiming to try an un- medicated home birth. 

My latest phe level was again 1.4 mg/dl so I have just been bumped up to 1800 mg phe ( 36 grams protein!!!) The highest I got with Madelyn was 2000 mg ( 40 grams protein) and I still have 7 weeks to go! Who knows what I will get to this time. Im finding food to be getting really challenging with being able to tolerate so much more protein and trying not to add to many new foods. All the foods im currently eating i keep increasing portions to reach protein but its becoming a lot of food and im having trouble eating it all . I feel so full and need to find some new meal ideas. Specialy since my calorie intake has been climbing with the bigger portions. 

A part of me has the mentality that “last baby, last time to try new things” I have even made a list. 

Things I want to try and eat with my new #PHE tolerance before this baby is born include:

A Cinnamon bun

A Oreo blizzard from Dairy Queen

A regular orange Julius smoothie

A regular bread sandwich 

An ice cream Sunday

Berry Crepes 

A Strudel 

Muffins

Brown bread. 

oatmeal cookies 

English muffins

A wrap of some sort. 

Then a few things I normally eat when not tracking my diet but would normally harm me . So since they wont i’m dying to get out for some sushi. Just my regular vegetable, or yam and avocado rolls and some veggie tempura.  

Some different soups. 

The higher phe Dayia cheese on a regular”white” bread grilled cheese sandwich. 

Today cole is working on moving all his office stuff down to the basement. I am washing all my home birth list stuff and putting it together in a rubber maid bin so it can be easily accessible. Will also be packing a hospital bag just in case and the diaper bag. I still need to sort through all the baby clothes and wash her bedding and blankets to. One thing at a time!

Check back next week for the next update. Thanks for following me on this journey.

32 weeks yesterday . We had our last ultrasound to monitor growth and the tech said baby girl already weights just over 4 lbs. I have a feeling she will be bigger then her sister.  She feels big to me. I feel her a lot. I feel everything and every movement.  She is very active with big rolls and kicking that makes my whole belly move. Madelyn finally caught her and was able to feel her last night. she said the cutest thing ” Hi baby, Im your big sister and I love you! Ugga Mugga! ” then she nose kissed my belly and baby kicked at that exact moment and bumped Madelyn’s face, so she giggled. It just tugged at my heart. So cute!

She has been asking me a lot of questions and telling me stories of things she is going to do with “her baby”  She tells me how she will hold “her baby” and “change her baby” and “feed her baby ” how she is going to be our “big helper” and “kiss her baby”

We were walking out of the hospital from the ultrasound yesterday and she asked to carry my water bottle so she could be my big helper. As she carried my water bottle she was so proud and asked me ” Am I good helper mama? ”

She blew me away as yesterday on our way to ultrasound we where driving in the car and she was in her car seat in the back and she says to me ” mama is the lady going to cut our baby out of your belly with a knife?” I was like WHAT!!! where did you hear that?  We have yet to talk to her about all the different ways babies are born or how she was born. I was hoping to have a discussion with her face to face and answer any of her questions but in the car was not the ideal place so I told her “no hunny we are going to have photos taken of the baby ” . I guess we better have that discussion soon.  With approx 8 weeks left now I want to prepare her as much as possible.

PKU wise I am doing well. My tolerance is 1450 mg I finally can enjoy oatmeal for breakfast. Regular bread sandwiches, lots of rice. If my tolerance continues to climb or get as high as Madelyn’s was then I have a few ideas on some foods I want to try as this will be my very last chance. I want to try a cinnamon bun, a regular Orange Julius smoothie, Chinese food buffet, and a Flurry or Oreo Blizzard!

My last level was 1.4 mg/dl I do another one tomorrow. I also have my 3rd trimester and final blood profile lab appointment tomorrow. I also have my last OBGYN appt tomorrow to then will be discharged to my midwifes primary care. I have 2 chiropractic appointments this week, and 1 massage appointment I scheduled on my birthday on Wednesday. Im hoping now that my tolerance is high enough that we can go out for dinner on my birthday.  I am going to massage weekly and just started to go to chiro 2 times a week as i have 6 weeks left on my ICBC claim and the pain in my hips has been unbearable. I found a lady chiro who has experiance with pre natal and im am comfortable with her and her treatments. My midwife recommended a few and i looked them up online and decided on this one. So far it is going well and I think it has been helping. We have gone for a few evening walks but I have not been back to the pool or yoga in a few weeks. My feet got really swollen last week so I had to go in to have my blood pressure tested and it was actually still very low so its just water and salt retention and possibly the heat. it has been 35 degrees Celsius. It has cooled off later in the week and rainy.

I am still quit tachycardic. My heart rate sky rockets when I move to fast, get up or down, and rolling over etc. It makes me dizzy and hard to breathe. I even get black spots in my vision.  I have been quiet nauseated in the evenings again which makes it hard to get much sleep.

I am getting winded faster and slowing down.  In some ways the next 8 weeks feels really long and then in others it feels so fast. I am so not ready for a newborn but excited to meet her to.

I cant wait to get started on her nursery this week.  I close my daycare at the end of this week and am officially on leave as of Friday. So then we can change the daycare around and move coles office down stairs. Then we can start on the nursery. I want to paint both girls rooms. Madelyns is still yellow since we didn’t find out with her and I want to make it into a big girl room. I have a plan for both girls rooms and a vision i’m working towards. Even though Cole has a different idea and trying to change my plan which i am finding extremely irritating.  Leading to a few arguments.  I am mostly anxious to find this baby girl a dresser and start washing all the clothes we have been given, sorting into sizes and organizing. Folding and putting them away so i can see what we have.  That is a important nesting task to me and i’m itching to get started. I will feel a lot better when that is done.  Like I can relax a little.  Even though we plan to room share for a while I want her room all set up and ready to go so all her things are in one place and not all through out the house. Easy to aces and find when needed. I learnt a lot with madelyn so i know what we need and dont need this time and trying to have a lot less. We have mostly everything now accept small things and a dresser for her room.

I have finished gathering all the materials on my home birth list and now just need to wash it all and put it together in a rubber maid tote so its all together in one place and easily accessible for when needed.  I am feeling good about trying for my home birth and the thought about being able to stay home and not have to deal with that hospital but i also know that if i have to move it will be ok and i can be flexible, my only goals are to avoid a C section and have a healthy birth and healthy baby.

Crazy , approx 8 weeks to go!

Here is what babycenter.ca has to say about week 32 ~

#32weekspregnant

Your baby now weighs approximately 3.75 pounds/ 1.7 kilograms and is about 17 inches / 42 centimetres long from head to toe. Although her lungs won’t be fully developed until just before birth, your little one is inhaling amniotic fluid to exercise her lungs and practise breathing.

Some babies have a head of hair already, others have only a few wisps. Thick hair at birth doesn’t necessarily mean thick hair later on but children with fine hair in childhood usually have thinner hair in adulthood.

#32weekspregnant #maternalpkusyndrome #mpku #maternalpku #mpku #wecanpku #canpku #mpkumentor #pku #pheylketonuria #pkuawarness#pkuadult #lowprotein #pkuproud #iampku #lowproteinlife #PKU
#babynumber2 #babygirl #babysister

We are in the home stretch now! Give or take 9 weeks till we meet this precious baby girl . I will admit I am so not ready! Scared actually.

I just keep thinking of everything we have to do. We havent even begun on her room , I still have to go through all her clothes, bedding, etc and wash and sort and fold. I dont even have a dresser for her yet. I mostly need small things other then a dresser and  a swing.

I have started to collect items from my home birth list so I also need to go through and sort them out, wash everything and put it all together in one safe place. I will still pack a hospital bag for myself and cole and madelyn just in case. Hopefully we wont need it.

The anesthesiologist from pre surgical called me the other day regarding my up and coming “delivery” and want to meet with me in case I end up with an epidural. They want to go over my PKU again and my injuries to my back and hips.  The appt is 4 hours long , i dont feel its necessary and have no idea why it needs to be 4 hours.

My schedule is pretty hectic over the next 2 weeks until the daycare closes. I have weekly massage and bi weekly chiro appts to manage the pain and get me through to due date. As well as midwife appts, one more ultrasound and one more blood profile panel to be done.  Come july our focus will shift to the nursery, relaxing and spending time with Madelyn before she becomes a big sister.

I am stressing out alot about the heat and hot weather and how dry it is. I am terrified of a wild fire , having family evacuated and staying with us as I dont want anyone here for the birth accept us.  I am worried about us getting evacuated, i’m worried about our home. I use to love summer so much, I lived for it. I come alive in summer, but now its so much stress because the last 2 years have been the worst in my life that i have ever seen due to wild fires.  Our province has been ravaged and scarred. Its so sad.

But im trying not to focus on it to much.

We sold our hamster Gus-Gus today, I am so sad to see him go but by the time the daycare closes at the end of the day, and the kids go home I shut off the lights and go upstairs so I dont get to spend the time with him or cuddle him as much as I want to. I dont even see him awake that often. It has become a chore to clean his cage and never intract with him. its not fair to him either. He needs love and attention.  so he went to a good home with kids who will handle him and love him everyday. Our daycare butterflies will be released soon to. Then we just have 1 more hatch left for our chicks. They are expected to hatch in about a week from now. We get to keep the chicks 2 weeks again then they go back to the farm.  So everything is winding down and ramping up all at the same time!

Here is what babycenter.ca has to stay about week 31 !

#31weeks down to single digit weeks !

Your baby’s arms, legs and body continue to fill out — and they are finally proportional in size to her head. She weighs about 3.3 pounds/1.5 kilograms and looks more like a newborn. She measures about 16 inches/ 41 centimetres from crown to toe.

You may notice your baby isn’t moving around as much. Don’t worry; she’s just running out of space in your uterus. As long as you can feel her squirming, you’ll know she’s just fine. Believe it or not, she still has plenty of growing to do. You can expect her to gain at least two more pounds/900 grams before delivery.

I am not sure what it is about that number “30” weeks but it really is starting to feel pretty real , pretty fast. Not that it hasn’t but its like the final stretch kinda feeling? Give or take 10 weeks to go. So close to single digital weeks, so close to ending work, so close to summer vacation and then Bam! baby!

Things like labor and birth are becoming a forefront for thought again. Even though I have been through it before , i am actually more scared this time! Now I know what to expect lol. I am remembering the pain.   I know best that you cannot control labor or birth, to be flexible and be open. All the matters is a healthy baby and  healthy me.  However I like to have a plan. Even tentatively.  I like information. I like to know options and scenarios and what ifs so I can know what id decide before that happens.  Last time I went in thinking I dont want to drugs but If i end up needing them thats ok to. I made it pretty far to. I was 28 hours in to my labor when I finally agreed to take the epidural and omg I am so glad looking back that I did.

This time , I am hoping for a water home birth. I have my same supportive wonderful midwife who has faith in me, even when my faith is beginning to waver. I fear my ability to get through the pain.  I am worried it will be to much to bare . I am worried if I will have the strength. I was so tired last time. I stalled at 8cm for 12 hours!

I have so many anxiety this week. How will Madelyn react to meeting her baby, and then realizing baby is staying forever. How will our little life change? How will we cope with the changes? Will we get through it? What about sleep? How am I going to be able to manage to be awake all night with a newborn then awake all day with an active busy toddler while still giving her the time and attention she deserves and not loosing my patience? How will it change my relationship with Madelyn? How can i love another like I love her? How does my heart have the room?

Will I be able to breastfeed this time? That was harder then pregnancy for me !

With the pain i have been already having in my hips and abdominal’s will it hamper my ability to labor this time?

All things considered, much like with Madelyn I have had a fairly regular pregnancy. No real issues.  My levels have been fantastic again. For the past several weeks we have been chasing them. Every week they have been coming back under 2.  My latest was 1.4 mg /dl and I was increased to 1075 mg phe . I have been eating a lot of minute rice and avocados for dinner. I have my low protein breakfasts, and lunches but dinner is all about the regular food!  my blood pressure is great , my heart rate is still erratic and i have trouble breathing sometimes. I havent vomited. I have had some heart burn.  I havent really gained any weight. I am starting to now,. but im still  below my pre pregnancy weight. I currently weigh 192 . Keeping in mind I started at 195 and went down to 184.  I dont feel that big, just awkward.  I have tried to keep up with swimming and yoga but i have noticed im more tired.

I am still doing my blood dots twice a week. I have one more ultrasound coming up in the next couple of weeks. A teleconference scheduled in july with my PKU clinic.  One last blood profile to check my nutrients and re check my iron, one last OBGYN appt and now 2 times a month mid wife appts that will change in july to weekly.  I feel like things are winding down and ramping up all at the same time. My schedule is slowing down, my pregnancy is coming to an end but we are amping up and preparing for baby.

Once im done work and my daycare closes we can begin the renovation and making of our nursery. Baby girls theme is “winnie the pooh”

Im still wrapping my head around this is my last baby, my last pregnancy. In some ways its gone by so fast, in others it still feels so unreal and surprising to be even having another already.  Im trying to remember and blog as much as I can so one day I can look back. Life with  a toddler is a blue and im always in awe how much she has grown and how far she has come and how can she already be 3? I am sure it will feel even faster when there are 2 running around. I honestly dont now how mamas of 2 or more do it!

I find myself wondering what they will be like as sisters, what this new baby will be like as an individual, who will she look like? how will we feel when we meet her?  Will she have hair like her sister? will she cry alot or not much like madelyn? What will we name her!!! that is my biggest question. We are still no closer to a name then we where before we knew she was a girl.

I cant wait to get my next blood phe results back from the blood dot I did on Thursday. i should have it back late tomorrow or early Tuesday. I am hoping for another increase. I am so close to being able to eat out, have avocado sushi or chow mein again! By the time madelyn was born I was up to 2000 mg phe so fingers crossed I get there again!

Im finding it easier to eat this time around as the nicer weather means more salads and fresh fruit. In the winter I tend to comfort eat warm foods.

Right now I could really go for a big bowl of cereal but im not quiet there yet if I want to have rice for dinner to.

Here is what babycenter.ca has to say about week 30 !

**** Your baby’s lungs and digestive tract are almost fully developed. While your baby may soon slow up growing in length, (she measures about 15.7 inches/ 40 centimetres from crown to toe by now), she will continue to gain weight until she’s born.

This week your baby continues to open and shut her eyes. She can probably see what’s going on in utero, distinguish light from dark and even track a light source. If you shine a light on your stomach, your baby may move her head to follow the light or even reach out to touch the moving glow. Some researchers think baring your stomach to light stimulates visual development. But don’t expect 20/20 vision when your baby is born — newborns can see a distance of only about 8 to 12 inches/ 20 to 30 centimetres. (Children with normal vision don’t reach 20/20 vision until about age 7 to 9.) To complete the picture, your baby now has eyebrows and eyelashes.

*** source babyceneter.ca

#30weekspregnant #babygirl#10weekstogo #almostthere#holycrap #eek!

#babygirl #babynumber2 #10weekstogo #almostthere #thirdtrimester #babysister

#maternalPKU #PKU #pkuawarness #phenylketonuria #PKUproud #PKUstrong #WECANPKU #canpku #Pkuadult #maternalpkumentor #dietforlife #lowprotein #dietforlife

Hello 29 weeks and welcome to June ! 26 days until my birthday, 28 days till my last day of work. This month we start bi weekly midwife appointments.  I have one more ultrasound and a full PKU blood profile panel schedule this month.  I am starting to think more about birth and what that might look like for us this time. I have borrowed some birthing books from my midwife and bought a few on my amazon kindle. This is what im currently reading :

It is really making me think about things I had not considered yet . I still feel its to early to make any decisions but I guess its something I will have to face soon enough so better to start thinking and preparing now . I know birth is unexpected, and that you need to be flexible but I like to have a tentative plan , and know what my options are for each scenario. I like to prepare as much as I can , and then in the moment I feel more like I can relax and the process take over , with out stressing or thinking about details and what ifs. I have always been the type of person where the more information the better. I make lists, asks questions, plan out scenarios and outcomes. I research and I read.  this is maybe why I found pre natal classes so helpful last time. I need details, I need to have a picture painted for me.  Then when I was in labor the first time with Madelyn i need what signs and stages i was going through, what was normal, what to keep in mind, what to watch for and how to cope. I could visualize each step and it helped me get through, Because I felt prepared I was more easily able to give in and let go.

When I think about what I want for birth this time, I know what I want an intimate setting again, just cole and my midwife and Madelyn for as long as she can. I dont want any interruptions or visitors. I want quiet and peace.  I want soft lighting if its night or no lighting during the day but natural light. i want curtains open if its night time so the moonlight can shine in, if its daytime i want natural light but privacy . I have not decided what room I want the birthing pool in, i dont think there will be room in our room so probably the living room or dining room.  I want my essential oil diffuser, and I want to be able to move freely . I want my back rubbed until I dont. I know when im ready I dont want to be touched.

If Madelyn has to go with my best friend for a bit when they bring her back I just want her to drop her off and go, not to visit. I want Madelyn to meet her sister with just us. Friends and family can come and visit when we call. I wont be telling anyone i am in labor or calling anyone till after she is born and we are ready. I want to be able to shower after again like with Madelyn. I want plenty of skin to skin until im ready to get up and move. I want to establish breastfeeding and allow baby to breast crawl should she be able to. I want delayed cord clamping and de layed first bath.

I am debating having a Douala present but I cant really afford who I want so it might not be an option.

I am having so much pain this past week. I feel like my hips and pelvis are separating. I feel like my low back and tail bone are in agony.  I have woken up in tears many times through out the night . I have been waking up at 3 am in so much pain I cant get back to sleep so i end up getting up at 5 am and going for an Epson salt bath. Which leaves me tired and crashing through out the day.

I feel like i might have split my abdominal muscles the other night when i rolled over in bed. I am very thankful for weekly massage or im not sure how i would cope. If I had benefits or any medical id be open to trying chiropractic and acupuncture. Its going to be a very long 11 weeks till baby if the pain keeps coming on like this.  I also have very low iron and i read that could be a problem in the book i am reading so i am working on making sure i am getting all my supplements in. I am going to ask my midwife at our next appointment this week about this and about how this pain will effect my ability to deliver at home.

I am still 5 lbs below my pre pregnancy weight and my clinic would like me to start gaining 0.5 lbs a week .

My latest phe level was 1.4 mg/dl so my clinic increased my phe tolerance to 950 mg phe and +2200 calories ( im getting around 2500-3000)  I am thoroughly enjoying having minute rice again for dinner. I am relying very little on low protein foods for dinner but still use them at either breakfast or lunch.

Here is what babycenter has to say about week 29 :

** SOURCE BABYCENTER.CA

Your baby now weighs around 2.5 pounds / 1.1 kilograms and measures about 15 inches / 38 centimetres from head to toe. In boys, testicles descend from near the kidneys through the groin en route to the scrotum. In girls, the clitoris is relatively prominent because it’s not yet covered by the still-small labia. These will grow to cover it in the last few weeks before birth.

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If you or anyone you know has had a home birth with PKU id love to hear from you!