Cole and I are expecting our first baby!  I am 16 weeks + 3 days pregnant today.  We found out June 17th and it has been so hard to keep quiet! But now that we have officially announced our special news I can finally speak openly! It has been so hard to not write about anything in the past few months but I did not want to slip up lol.

Anyone who knows me , knows that I have wanted to be a mother for so very long. But now that it is real it is scary! There is just so much to think about and thinking leads to worrying. I just can’t picture holding my own baby in february! what will he or she look like? will he or she be healthy? so many things!

I was not on the preconception diet prior to conceiving.  This was not planned. I had been on birth control for 12 years. I was told it could take a very long time. A year even or longer. I have wanted to have a family for many years but life just kept getting in the way, and i always said i wanted to wait till we had more coverage for pku. so the BC low protein subsidy has really helped.  Life and years just started to blur together and life continued to happen. I was at the point that i was unsure if it was ever going to happen for us.

Cole and I have been together 10 years as of July 24th. (I was actually 9 weeks plus 5 days pregnant on our anniversary) . It use to get me so upset to watch everyone around us move forward, marriage and kids and a family.  I made the decision in May to go off birth control. The last pill I took was on the first.  just a few days before my last pill pack was done. I got my period on the 8th and was suppose to start another pack on the 14th but I talked to cole and I told him I was done. It could take years and I wanted to get my body healthy again. I wanted to get healthy and normal and natural. I stopped all my meds cold turkey. Without talking to my doctors. I went off my pain and nerve medications and even my anti depressants. I have been doing remarkably well. When I told my doctor a few weeks later he was surprised but as long as I had not hit ” the wall” by then chances are I would not have withdrawls or side effects. I was very happy to be off all meds after many many years.

I was attempting to get ready to begin the pre conception diet “just in case” .

On June 8th I went to the doctor because I still had not gotten a period after coming off the pill. My doctor laughed and said it was totally normal and could take up to 6 months to get the first one.

Then randomly I decided to take a home test on the 17th. I wanted to be careful because of my PKU. I wanted to be sure to catch a pregnancy early . My clinic told me to test weekly till I got it and then until I figured out my natural cycles.

well with in seconds it was positive and our life was changing. I was so scared to tell cole , I was not sure how he would take it.  i knew he was not ready and was not thrilled about my decision about going off the pill . But I have always been honest with him and never kept anything from him.

So I told him in tears , but he was really good about it. He has been very supportive and has come to all my appts and been very involved. I love him more every day!

Minutes after talking to him about it he went into the sunroom to let copper out, and then he called me into the sunroom. I went in and he showed me the most beautiful yellow swordtail butterfly. Everyone knows butterflies are kinda my thing. We took it as a omen. I looked it up online and in mayan it means ” the Miracle of life, and messengers from heaven” I knew my grammie sent it to me to let me know everything would be ok.

After we found the butterfly I called my family doctor to get a  blood test. My doctor was shocked to see me again and even more shocked to hear what I had to say. We did the blood test and my doctor called me the same day with the results. He predicted no more than 4 weeks.

Over the next few days there was a lot of appts, rushing around, phone calls back and forth to my medical team and to find pre natal care. We decided to keep our news quiet until we knew everything was ok. I did a blood test for my phe results and it came back at 10. I was petrified and worried sick. It took me just under a week to drop them down to 1. My clinic told me if I could get them down before 6 weeks there would be little to no chance of any side effects to the baby. Range here for MPKU is 2 to 6 but Cole and I want to keep them under 4 .

We went to my pku clinic on June 24th , 2 days before my 29th birthday. We went over everything to do with maternal PKU and what was next and what would happen next, and where we were to go from here. Also a lot of blood work!  We dropped my phe intake down to 200 mg a day till my levels came down.

After my clinic appt we came home. We were suppose to go to victoria but we had to put it off. I called my family and friends to cancel and id see them in september for a friends wedding.

We celebrated my birthday quietly at home just the 2 of us. I was under the impression that I was nearly 8 weeks pregnant but was not yet sick or felt any different. On the saturday after my birthday we went to clinton to celebrate my birthday with coles family. I happened to wake up vomiting that morning.  I need to take a bucket with me in the truck.  I read later in my books that morning sickness is suppose to start around 6 weeks,, which is exactly where I was at the time but only didn’t know it. I thought it was farther long till my dating ultrasound.

Cole’s mom made a birthday dinner and a birthday cake and I could not eat any of it. I was so restricted and dropping my phe levels down. So cole and I had to tell cole’s mom our news very early because we didn’t want her to be offended that i wasn’t eating anything she made for me.  Well she knew something was up right away and asked us what was going on.  So we told her and we all wanted to keep in quiet till we knew everything was ok and was further along. we didn’t end up telling the rest of his family till 13 weeks. After our first OBGYN appt.

The next week, my family doctor referred me to an OBGYN, he said I could not have a midwife as I was deemed high risk due to my PKU. The OBGYN had a wait list and in the mean time I still wanted a midwife. I had emailed a few places and was wanting to research and gather information about midwifery and if I could still have one with my PKU and I was waiting to hear back.

My family Doctor, who has been my doctor since I was 16, scheduled a dating ultrasound. If you went off my Last menstral cycle I should have been 8 weeks at the dating ultrasound.  Our dating ultrasound was july 3rd and I ended up being 6 weeks 5 days. What a relief! As that meant I did get my levels down before 6 weeks. In fact I got them down in the 4th week.

According to the ultrasound we conceived June 2nd. The day after Copper drank the antifreeze.  The baby had a heart beat at the ultrasound and it was 122. We could not hear it but we saw it beating away. It looked like a jumping bean! It was amazing to see and made it feel so real. I was terrified there would not be a heart beat. I kept thinking about all my friends and how many of them miscarried before 8 weeks or had no heart beat at the ultrasound. I kept thinking about how fast this all happened and how easy it was. I thought for sure we would have fertility issues or trouble conceiving and that it would take years. I was reluctant to get excited and was trying to keep my expectations low. But when I saw that heartbeat, things really changed! it was real and it was really in there!

After that things started moving pretty quickly. Morning sickness AKA all day sickness was kicking my ass hard. I was not vomiting to much but the nausea was overwhelming. Every single thing, smells, food, motion , being tired all made it worse. Food tasted like glue and I was struggling so much to eat and get my target phe intake in everyday. it would take me hours and I really had to force myself. Everything had no taste and was just thick like glue. Nothing tasted good. I was and am doing blood tests 3 days a week. I got sent home from work for vomiting and ended up not working to much during the first trimester. I battled every day to keep food down and to not vomit because i know vomitting raises levels. I have vomited maybe a handful of times, but the nausea is always there along with the urge.

I bought some pregnancy books and installed an app on my phone and created a secret mpku group on fb. It was easier to talk my pku friends then any of my family or friends since know one knew yet and I had a ton of questions.  My levels have been stable and mostly under 4 the whole time. A couple of times they spiked up to 6.5 and 6.8 cause i was not getting enough calories but I was able to bring them right back down. I never really understood the correlation between calories and phe but now I know I really need to get in a certain amount of phe and calories everyday!

My phe has been increased slowly by 50 mg intervals. I am now up at 350 but it is expected to begin to increase very soon.

I was able to see a midwife after all. I got on with Mighty oak midwifery and have a wonderful midwife named Joanna and she has been so great educating us and alleviating my fears. I have been so stressed out more then i thought i would be. In the back of my mind all of the horror stories i have heard from high levels , guilt about not being on pre conception diet. Fears and nightmares  about deformities and mental issues. Fears over telling my family and some of cole’s family members. Worried about reactions and the fact we are not married and not planning on getting married. But Joanna was great and I feel very comfortable with her. Between her and Cole and my best friend Laura , I have had alot of support since early on. Laura was the first person I told before Cole. I slowly started telling a few of my closet girl friends after our appt in vancouver but was still keeping it very quiet. We told the rest of coles family at the end of first trimester and had planned to announce to my family and friends and facebook in september when we went to victoria! Best to tell everyone in person!

We have done all our first trimester prenatal screening and blood tests. Both Prenatal and PKU blood work. my first blood panel after finding out I was pregnant was a lot! I have had blood work done my whole life and never once had a problem, but i actually vomited and fainted, they took 3 tubes of blood for lots of vials.

My iron came back low again. So I am taking supplements. I do not need a prenatal vitamin because of my formula. But I do need to take folic acid, iron and an omega 3.

Now that I am in my second trimester I am still doing blood dots 3 days a week, my calories are up to 2100 but I have lost 9 lbs since being pregnant.  I am very overweight so my medical team is not concerned.  I have had my bettermilk increased and I am adding tyrosine to my formula now too. I add 3 grams in the morning, and 2 grams tyrosine in the afternoon along with 2 scoops of mte amino acid blend for added protein.

I have a wonderful team following me very closely. I now have a OBGYN, a midwife, an fetal specialist, my PKU team, my family doctor and a counselor.  My obgyn is amazing. She is referring me to a fetal specialist for a special anatomy scan and echo because of my PKU. We are scheduled for October 13th for our scan and my next pku clinic appt. We have to be seen at the pku clinic every trimester as well as within 3 months of the baby being born.

We are due February 21st. Its odd because our scan is on my brothers birthday. which is also the anniversary of my grandmothers death. Now my baby is due on the anniversary of my beloved uncle’s death.

At our first visit with the OBGYN at 13 week we got to hear the baby’s heart beat. It was 160 I briefly had hope it could be a girl. Ever since I found out something told me its a boy. I have always wanted a girl , I have always dreamt of a girl and have girls names picked out and want a pink nursery. Well actually we are doing a beatrix potter nursery. But everything inside of me says boy. I am convinced and preparing myself for a boy.

At our midwife appt at 14 weeks the heart beat was 155. we have not heard it since and we have not seen baby since our dating ultrasound so I am very anxious for our next scan in october. I want to know baby is developing and growing properly and to really see it for the first time. Not just the little jumping bean!

Cole does not want to know the gender so I guess we wont be finding out until the baby is born. I feel like I owe him that. I hate gender neutral colours in an nursery like yellows and greens But I love beatrix potter and the forest theme, so the bunnies and trees and earthy tones will be nice.

We traveled to victoria last week , we rushed around seeing special people in person to tell them the news, like my mom , and siblings and cole’s uncle, then on sunday September 6th at 16 weeks we announced our news to the world. Now that we have gone public so many friends are already giving us stuff. I am holding off buying anything ourselves right now. Still to early. But everything I do have we have put in my office as it will be the nursery.

I figure I have a lot of time to design the room and prepare it. I might start in december.

In the meantime I am starting my new position at my job , it’s a night line though so I have some anxiety. I have limitations set by my obgyn and am worried that it will effect my job stability. I know I can do my job and I am safe to my residents. I mostly worry about how nights will effect my levels and maintaining my diet.  I hope I can work for as long as I can but have worries about my back and my disk bulges.  I have gained no weight yet but my tummy is getting bigger, my guess is from everything moving around.  I am not aloud to lift, pull, carry, or push anything over 10 lbs. I might end up on bedrest. I am hoping to be able to work till at least december. That way I have my benefits and mat leave. But again thinking to far ahead. Right now I am just taking one day at a time! And today I have 3 blood dots to drop off at the hospital and food records to email to my dietitians.

Now that I can share my MPKU journey openly, please check back often for updates! I hope reading my story and following or journey will inspire other pku women and let them though even though its hard work , its worth every minute and it can be done.

my dreams are finally coming true!

Here are a few of my bump photos!

the most recent taken yesterday!

Well that is all for now! Thank you to anyone who has read this post completely! I look forward to sharing more about my journey in the weeks ahead!

Until next time!