Today is the official last day of 2015. As always a time to look back and reflect on the year. This year has been a tough one. Of love and loss. So many deaths, family , friends and even celebrities no longer with us. Highs and lows. Joy , pain and sadness. Acts of war , violence and terrorism, but also fetes of humanity’s strength and compassion were on full display.

Each one of our lives forever impacted by the events that occurred in 2015.

A year that brought myself much pain, also gave me new life. The child I carry with in myself, a product of cole and I .

Answered prayers, and hope for a bright 2016.

I buried family, cried with friends, made new friends, lost old friends. I felt loved and heartache. Happiness and sadness. Through it all I have held my head high and stood tall. I have had cole by my side and learnt who my true friends and family are. I am happy to be surrounded by love and support. I have found strength and courage , I have been tested and I have grown. I have found myself and I am comfortable with who I am finally. There is always room for improvement, but I am happy for every moment.

I finally went to therapy and completed cognitive behavioral therapy and still see a counselor regularly. I have focused on my body and my health and overcame challenges from within. I am medication free and healthy as I have ever been. I pushed myself and I rewarded myself. I made and achieved goals and I have fallen deeper in love with myself, Cole, my life , family and friends.
January-
Brought us visits from friends , the Wheeler family and my dear Claudia.

February-
We lost my beloved Uncle to cancer.

Cole was hit by a drunk drive and ended up with a broken hand for many months. He would not find out it was broken till march. He would remain off work  till August.

March –
Brought visits from family and spring gardening.

April –
Our friends Brandy and Trevor, had a baby girl.
I cut my hair and had bangs for the first time since my childhood.
A new look and style to go with making my first weight loss milestone.

May-
The Royal prince and princess had a baby girl.
I started a second job at pondersoa.
Copper turned one!
We traveled to Edmonton for a friends 30th birthday .
Cole celebrated his 31st , with a family camping trip to North Barrier lake.
I even tried kayaking for the very first time and loved it.
We celebrated another PKU day and event .
I met new PKU friends and organized our annual walk a thon.
It was also PKU awareness month.

June –
we came so close as to losing Copper when he ingested over the lethal dose of anti freeze but quick thinking and heroics of our vet ( plus vodka) saved his life.
I made my 10 lbs goal in weight loss by hiking daily with cole during his recovery from the accident. Healthy eating and being more active every day.
We attended graduations and celebrated new achievements.
Cole and I conceived our baby.
I discovered I was expecting on June 17th.
more visits from the Wheelers!
We traveled to Vancouver for PKU clinic and MPKU visits.
I celebrated my 29th birthday while battling with morning sickness.

July-
Brought our first glimpse at our little bean with the dating ultrasound.
We spent most of the month in Clinton where Cole built his parents a new deck.
We had a visit from Irish and her adorable girls.
Cole and I celebrated a huge life milestone – our 10 year anniversary.
Death visited us once again in loss of family and friends.  Hearts still ache at the rawness.

August –

Copper welcomed a new litter of brother and sisters.
another visit from our friends the wheelers.
We spent some time at the family cabin and in horse lake with coles grandparents.

September –
We had our friend Angie and her children visit us.
We traveled to Victoria for  a friends wedding and to officially announce my pregnancy!
We spent some quality time with close friends back home. Rushed but still time together.
I started a permanent line at Overlander
Felt my baby move for the first time.
We celebrated my father in law’s birthday at the ranch.

October –
We had a lunar eclipse
Coles mom and I went to the Jason Aldean concert
we traveled to Vancouver for our 20 week anatomy scan and saw our baby in 4d! . We also had our second trimester MPKU visit.
We visited with Claudia in Vancouver too.
Coles employee and his girlfriend moved into ur basement
we celebrated my mother in law’s birthday
and we had our annual Halloween bash!
I was injured 2 times at work and attacked by an aggressive resident.

I went on early medical leave before maternity leave.

November –
Brought weekly therapy for my injuries and nearly daily appts.

It was an emotionally charged month when they told us that our baby was to small. That there might be a problem. IT brought tears, fears, pain and confusion. Only to later learn on december 1st that it was all a mistake and baby was and is just fine . Growing well and healthy!

We traveled to vancouver on the last day of the month and stayed with our friend Claudia the night before our next appt. We had a lovely visit with her family and a lovely dinner.

December –

We rushed to vancouver on the first for an emergency ultrasound to check the growth of our baby. All turned out to be great. No concerns.

We visited our friends Lauren and Oliver and had a lovely lunch before heading home to kamloops.

We had visits with friends here and down closer to home.

we bought new fish
I tried new foods with my higher tolerance.
I ended up my sickest ever in the hospital with norwalk
we began to collect items to prepare for baby.
We celebrated christmas and reflected back on the past.
We are looking to the future.

2015 has been heavy with focused on foods , diet, phe , protein, calories PKU treatments, my health and the health of my baby. Each day is revolved around eating and what I put in my body. Each week is heavy with blood tests and changes to my care.  I have never in my adult life been so focused on my PKU as I am now.  Some may think it has taken the focus and joy out of experience a first pregnancy, but for me, it shows me I am doing my very best and everything in my power for the health of my unborn baby.

My days are consumed with planning meals, tracking food, weighing food, preparing food, eating, doing blood work, going to appts, and managing my health and the health of my baby.

For each day and month that has gone by, I have witnessed great change in myself and those around me. I have created life and nurtured it. Each day I feel my baby move and body grow. I look ahead to tomorrow and all of 2016 with great joy and happiness.

2015 will always be the year that brought me my child, but also the year that I looked in the mirror and finally recognized the person looking back at me. The person I was always meant to be me before events and my past wore me down.  Every day forward is another day and another opportunity to be my best self, to continue to grow and to recognize that self worth  , importance  , work and life is never done.  We never stop growing , learning and changing.

Where I have been robbed years battling myself, others, depression , anxiety and chronic pain, this was the year I took back my life.  I grieved and let go of the time lost and am moving forward focusing on the years I have gained. I expect great things as we enter this next chapter of our lives. I look forward to becoming a mother, and cole and to begin the journey as parents. 2016 is going to be the best year ever.

I wish you all nothing but the same!

From my family to yours,
Happy new year 2016. May it be filled with joy, wonder, excitement, happiness, good health , love, safety and may all your dreams come true!