Because I work all nights I was sleeping all day today . When I awoke this afternoon , I was overwhelmed by the responses I have been receiving from my post last night regarding my experiences with high levels. Thank you all so much for your kind words and sharing your stories with me.  It is so nice to read all your stories . It still amazes me how many of us gone through similar experiences.

Last Night I was so tired and there was so much more I wanted to share and write about. All of your responses have made me think back and reflect over what I did to my body.  I am so happy now that I know the differences  I use to tell people when they asked me what it was like , that I was walking around in the dark fog and then one day someone just came along and switched on the light. I felt lost. It was so overwhelming.  I spent years of my life walking around in this darkness with heightened emotions but most of all so unhappy and hating myself. I never want to be that person again.

I fought with my family, my mom and dad, and my siblings. I back talked and argued and was angry all the time. I created alot of problems for my family and got myself in to trouble a lot. I was angry all the time. Rageful actually.  I was not destructive or anything. I didn’t drink or do drugs But however I did skip school and lie . I hardly ever went to classes. I was a horrible student I failed alot and eventually dropped out in my second year of grade 12 of my day time courses and came back once  week to evening classes to finish out the year. I was always in some sort of drama and crying or caught up in fights with my peers. I was bullied so much and abused I hated being in school and I hated being at home too. I was misrible. I really dont no what would have happened to me if I had not met cole and got away from the toxic people in my life.  Cole was the one who turned the lights on in my world.  He taught himself all about my PKU, baked my low protein foods with me and bought me my foods. He cooked and taught his family about my diet and made sure i never felt left out.

Cole inspired me and begun to make changes and care about my health and my body.  I got myself all those 19 pills , got my levels under control and eventually year by year I stopped having side effects and my mind became clearer. I still struggled to hold a job and stay focused , and my attention span and cognitive functioning was tested on a regular basis. But eventually I was able to over come it all and be who I am today. I am proud of who I am , I wish I didnt have to go through everything that I went through to get where I am but I am happy with me now.   of course I still want to loose weight and get my body back, and to live pain free, more active and healthy life style. I am still a very picky eater and I do not eat enough fruits and vegetables  So my new goals are to be more active, to eat more oganic , no GMOS, grow my own food, and more variety.

I am focusing on my brain and my health and protecting it. I know what its like to be sick and I dont want to go back to that or be that person any more damage. I want a future , I want to keep my brain healthy so I can be the best I can be but also so I can continue to be a nurse and pay it forward to my residents and patients.  Also so I can be a good friend, girl friend ( hopefully wife one day ) a  mother one day, a good daughter, sister , nurse, granddaughter, cousin, and more.

So I thank you for reading my story and for sharing your stories with me. They are inspiring and makes me so proud of our community and the strengths PKU has shown us we have inside ourselves.  I am who I am because of my PKU, it is not who I am , but it helped make me who I am. . I do not let it control me and I do not blame it for the troubles I have gone through. I own my mistakes and embrace my PKU and know for me , its my choice and my lifestyle.

live long and live healthy!

Thanks for reading!

Your PKU Friend Amanda.